


Unwavering

by lycancub



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Male Slash, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2013-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 21:49:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lycancub/pseuds/lycancub
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a whole month since Elliot was abducted and he is finally found. A journey through Elliot's recovery and the adjustment he has to make to live his life as normally as possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.

His eyes drooped as he fought to stay awake. His whole body hurt and he was so tired but he couldn’t let his guard down. It didn’t matter anymore though. He was already used for what he was needed for so he had time to recuperate for at least two days.

The cold steel of the metal shackle around his ankle was starting to cut into his skin again. There was nothing he could do about it as of right now but bare the pain as best as he could.

The sound of footsteps above his head made him nervous and scared. Maybe they were going to come back for a second round. He wouldn’t be able to bear the pain if it happened again.

There were more footsteps and the door to the basement was kicked in. He pulled himself into the tight corner not sure what was happening. Flashlight’s shined in his face and he winced at the bright light.

“El,” a soft voice said and he looked up, confusion in his blue eyes as he came face to face with the one person that he had hoped to see again. He moved forward but the sharp pain in his back made him growl in pain and curl back up into himself.

“I’m here,” the voice said and they brushed his hair back and he relaxed as best he could.

He was going home.


	2. One

Another empty cup of coffee was thrown into the garbage. George looked at his hands saw that they were still shaking some. It was nearly two o’clock in the morning. He was sure he had drunk enough coffee to last him a lifetime. The stuff was vile but it kept him awake.

“Dr. Huang?” George turned to see Elliot’s doctor.

“How is he?” George asked.

“All of his wounds have been cleaned and he’s been put on antibiotics to fight the infection from the cut on his ankle. Luckily the infection was fairly new so we won’t have to amputate. We wrapped his ribs. Two of them were broken. We’re not sure about his right wrist. There is some minor nerve damage but since it’s broken we don’t know if it will affect him. It might heal as the bones in his wrist do. When he gets the cast taken off we will know more. While he was asleep we did the rape kit and all you have to do is sign it to release it to the police. We checked for tearing and bleeding. There was some tearing but no bleeding. There is quite a bit of scarring, though. Other than that, it’s mostly just various bruising.”

George looked thoughtful before looking at the doctor. “Thank you. Can I see him?”

“Yes. He is asleep, though. If we didn’t give him something, he would have been in extreme pain when we cleaned the cuts and set his wrist. I’ll take you to the room.”

George followed the doctor to the room. He hesitated before opening the door. He walked in and sat down. The doctor closed the door and George looked at Elliot. He looked a bit worst then when he was pulled from the house. Maybe it was because of all the bandages and the cast.

“I’ve missed you, a lot. I tried my hardest to find you. It wasn’t easy but I did it,” he said softly knowing that Elliot couldn’t hear him. “They let me take a month off. I’m not leaving you alone and you’re going to be stuck with me.” George smiled slightly at his words as tears slid down his cheeks. Nothing was going to be the same anymore for both of them.

* * *

George opened his eyes to hear shouting outside of Elliot’s room. He stretched and yawned as he stood. He heard movement come from Elliot’s bed and he saw weary blue eyes.

“El,” he said as walked closer to the bed.

“I’m not dreaming, right,” Elliot asked.

“No,” George said shaking his head. He felt Elliot’s left hand grip his shirt and he covered the hand. Elliot sighed in relief and turned his head. George could see tears in Elliot’s eyes and just stood there silent. He didn’t want to break the moment.

“Could I have some water?” Elliot asked and George grabbed the water pitcher from the dresser and poured some water into the glass there. George then grabbed the bed’s control and lifted the bed. Elliot was now sitting up. George held the glass up and Elliot let go of shirt and he took the glass. Elliot gulped the water down quickly. He looked at George with a look of relief and apprehension. George took the glass from him and set it back on the table.

The door opened and Elliot tensed at the loud voices.

“You have no right being in here.”

George turned to see Olivia who was angry and he frowned. “He has every right to be here,” Elliot said as he gripped George’s hand. No one was going to take him away from him. Not again. “I don’t know what’s going on but he stays.”

“But-” Olivia started and Elliot cut her off. “Anyone can visit but he stays,” Elliot said with a desperate look in his eyes.  

Olivia looked at him and George before turning and leaving. Cragen stepped into the room.

“Don,” George said.

“I came to check on you and Elliot. Olivia walked in here and wasn’t happy to see you George.”

Elliot gave George a look of confusion.

“Olivia is angry at me for the way I’ve been acting since you were kidnapped. She was under the impression that I didn’t care that you were gone. She has no idea how wrong she is,” George said squeezing Elliot’s hand.

“Could you give us a minute alone, Captain?” Elliot asked.  Cragen nodded and left.

“What happened?” Elliot asked.

“I didn’t know how to react to everything. One minute you’re on your way to your apartment, the next you’re gone. We didn’t want anyone to know that we were together yet, so I just acted as indifferent as I could. Some people weren’t happy with that,” George said with a frown. Elliot looked at him. George saw how dull Elliot’s eyes looked.

“So you acted cold and uncaring?” Elliot asked. George looked away and nodded. Elliot pulled him closer and George looked down at him. Elliot pressed his face against George’s chest. “I don’t care. Just don’t let them make you leave. Need you here with me,” he said  

George ran his fingers through Elliot’s hair. “I’m not going anywhere. No one is going to make me,” he said.

Elliot’s left hand curled around George’s neck and George felt himself being pulled down. George felt Elliot press his lips against his and he pulled back quickly.

“What are you doing?” George asked. Elliot just stared at him and pulled him back down.

“Need you here,” he said kissing George again and then pulling back. George nodded in understanding. He sat down with his hand in Elliot’s.

George looked at Elliot as the man closed his eyes. He watched as Elliot went to sleep. He hoped that today would not be too eventful. He wasn’t sure if he could take too much excitement and he knew that Elliot couldn’t much either. George was going to have to be strong for Elliot. It was going to be hard but it was going to worth it.

George slipped his hand from Elliot’s and he went into the hallway to talk to Cragen.

“How is he?” Don asked as George came out of the room.

George didn’t have an answer. It was Elliot in there but it wasn’t Elliot.

“He’s,” he paused and couldn’t finish the sentence.

Cragen nodded his head as if understanding. “I’m going to go back to the station. That bastard is going to be arraigned tomorrow.”

George felt his heart squeeze thinking about the man who did this to Elliot. For the first time in his life he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash if he had a chance to kill that man. He was by no means violent but he wanted him dead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Don,” George said as he went back into Elliot’s room. 


	3. Two

Elliot smiled as he looked at Dickie and Lizzie who were hugging him. He hugged back tightly even though he was in a bit of pain from the tight squeezing. George had a bit of a smile as he watched. He did wish he could give them more privacy but Elliot was adamant that he stay.

“I love you two and I’ll see you when I get out of here.”

Kathy hugged Elliot and his family left the room. His smile waned as he looked at George.

George got up and grabbed Elliot’s hand.

“I don’t know if I can keep doing that,” Elliot said. He tried to act as normal as possible for the sake of his kids. There was no way he was going to show them how broken he felt. He had to be strong but he didn’t think he could be.

George seemed to sense his thoughts and pressed his lips to Elliot’s forehead. “Don’t worry about it for now. Everything will become better,” he said.

The words comforted Elliot a bit. It was true. They would become better but nothing will ever be the same. “We’ll find something better than before,” Elliot said and George smiled at him.

“We will,” George said and he looked up as the door opened. Olivia stepped in with Fin and Munch. George squeezed Elliot’s hand reflexively.

“I have to go home to get some clothing,” George said to Elliot softly and he could see Elliot’s eyes grow big and he shook his head. It was true and he also didn’t want to be in the room with Olivia right now.

“I know. I don’t want to leave either but if I’m going to be staying here then I need clothing. I won’t be gone for more than an hour and a half. If you don’t want me to leave, I won’t leave until you’re asleep again.”

Elliot looked at him and he had to decide. There was going to be a point where he couldn’t have George with him all the time. It was only going to be an hour and a half.

“Its fine but it better be just an hour and a half,” Elliot said.

George nodded. “I’ll try to be earlier,” George said and he felt Elliot grab his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss.

“Don’t be late,” Elliot said and George pulled away reluctantly and left. Elliot looked at Olivia, Fin, and John who were looking at him in surprise. He was going to have a lot to explain.

* * *

George finished packing his clothing and a pair of clothes for Elliot when he was able to leave the hospital. His cell phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket.

“George I need you here right now.”

“What happened?” George asked trying not to panic as he heard Don’s angry voice.

“They’ve restrained Elliot to his bed,” Cragen said.

“They’ve done what?” George said grabbing the bag and rushing out of his apartment.

“He punched a male nurse and broke his nose so they restrained him and Elliot’s freaking out. They won’t let me into the room and they won’t take the restraints off.”

“I’m on my way. Try to get into the room and see if you can calm him down some but do not touch him,” George said and he hung up the phone. He started his car and drove as fast as possible to Mount Sinai.

* * *

George saw that Cragen was still outside the room and a security guard was at the door with a doctor who wasn’t Elliot’s doctor. He walked up to them quickly.

“You’re here,” Cragen said with relief.

“Move out of the way,” George said a cold look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry but no one can go into the room until Mr. Stabler has calmed down. I don’t care what badges you wave around,” the doctor said and George frowned.

“You’ve restrained a police officer who has been kidnapped and raped. He was found in a basement chained to the wall and floor. On his chart it specifically says that only female nurses are allowed to directly touch him and that he is not to be restrained in any type of way,” George said angrily.

“He punched a male nurse and would not calm down. He is a danger to the medical staff and himself,” the doctor said but George could tell that he wasn’t as confident as before.

“If you don’t move out of my way and get those restraints off of him I will report you and your ass will be outside of this fucking hospital faster than you can blink,” he said his voice cold and the doctor looked at him with wide eyes before moving out of the way and the security guard followed.

George went into the room and saw that Elliot was completely strapped to the bed and that he was wiggling against the restraints.

“El,” he said as he came to the bedside.

Elliot’s eyes were red and his face was tear-streaked. “I didn’t mean to hit him. He touched me to help me up but I panicked,” Elliot said softly.

“Shh… El, it’s going to be okay. They’re going to take the restraints off and I’ll be here with you. I’m not leaving again and I’m going to be the one helping out with the female nurses so you don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault,” George said. He was going to have to be there to help lift Elliot just to make sure this might not happen again. It could happen to anyone who caught Elliot off guard too but he felt there was less of a chance if they were female and they made sure that Elliot was aware of where they were at all times.

A female nurse came in and took the restraints off and Elliot relaxed some but he was still jittery. George felt so angry that Elliot was restrained and that he looked like he was in despair. Elliot grabbed George’s shirt and George pressed the controller to lift the bed up higher. Elliot sat up more with some effort and he placed his head against George’s chest. George wrapped his arm around Elliot and threaded his fingers into Elliot’s hair. George felt the hand tighten on his shirt. He could tell that Elliot was angry.

Elliot wondered what he was going to do. How the hell would he do his job if he couldn’t even control his fear? The last time he felt this helpless was when he was a kid.

A knock on the door startled Elliot and George sighed.

“Let me go and see if it’s Don,” George said.

Elliot let him go after a few seconds. George walked to the door and opened it.

“How is he holding up,” Cragen asked.

“He’s a bit better but he’s still nervous,” George said and he looked back at Elliot who was looking at the ceiling.

“I’m going to go take care of everything out here and you stay in here and don’t worry about it,” Cragen said and George gave him a small grateful smile.  

George closed the door and went back over to Elliot. He grabbed Elliot’s hand and he felt Elliot flinch. George went to pull his hand away but Elliot gripped his hand.

“Sorry my ankle really hurts,” Elliot said.

“I can get the nurse to give you more medication,” George said but Elliot shook his head.

“Only hurts a lot if I move it too much. So what’s the story on my wounds,” Elliot asked as he looked at George. George knew the question was coming but he wondered if he should answer.

“Your ankle is infected but the infection is easy to treat. They said a couple more days and the infection might have gotten bad enough for amputation.” He stopped and looked Elliot over.

Elliot took a shaky breath. He could have lost his foot. “I know about all the cuts, bruises and my ribs. What about my hand?,” he asked softly. He had to suffer through them as the knife cut through his flesh and all the beatings. There was no need to be reminded.

“Your wrist was shattered and the doctor said that there is minor nerve damage. He said it might heal with the wrist but they’ll know when they take the cast off,” George said and he watched as Elliot looked at his casted arm.

George sighed. If anything happened to that hand… George didn’t even want to think about it.

“Well let’s hope for the best,” Elliot said looking at George with a slight smile but George could see the weariness and worry.  

“What about the…” Elliot trailed off and looked at the ceiling.

George’s brow furrowed waiting for him to finish his question.

“It doesn’t matter,” Elliot mumbled and George wanted to ask him what was on his mind but he refrained.

George had an idea of what it might be but he couldn’t bring himself to think about it without getting angry and Elliot didn’t need that right now.

“Is there anything that you want?” George asked trying to pull Elliot out of his thoughts. “Just need you to sit and stay,” Elliot said.

George smiled as he sat down and gripped Elliot’s left hand. 


	4. Three

George yawned and stretched. He was finally going to take Elliot home. Elliot was glad too but George saw the apprehension.

Because of the apprehension, George suggested that Elliot take his bed and that he would sleep in the guestroom, Elliot was against it. Very strongly against it. George had asked why and Elliot just said that he needed him close to him.

George nodded knowing he felt the same. He wouldn’t be able to sleep at night without Elliot holding him. George hadn’t had good night’s rest since the day Elliot was kidnapped.

He’d been a wreck when Elliot had been taken. He had broken down in Don’s office a week in. Someone had suggested that Elliot might be dead, since they knew the man’s MO. It had broken him but he had to try and be strong because he knew it wasn’t the truth.

George sighed as he looked out of the window of the hospital.  He turned to see that Elliot was still sleeping. George looked at his watch and headed for the door. While Elliot was asleep he could go and get Elliot’s medicine.

George walked out of the room and saw that Olivia was there. George walked right past her without a word. He knew that Olivia being mad at him was his fault in a sense but she didn’t help by spreading around the department that he was uncaring and that since he didn’t give a shit about Elliot he didn’t give a shit about any of them. No one in the department wanted to talk to him anymore and he was looked at like a plague. At least Cragen had a tight handle on his department so he didn’t have to be harassed but being ignored wasn’t any better. George tired not to think about it. All that mattered right now was Elliot and his recovery.

Elliot opened when he heard the door open and close. Elliot looked around the room to see that George wasn’t there but Olivia was standing there.

“Hey,” he said.

“So you’re getting out today?” Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded. “I’m going to be with George at his apartment. Probably just going to stop renting mine,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Olivia asked and Elliot sighed.

“I am more than sure. I don’t really know what’s going on between you two but I don’t like it,” he said.

“I saw a side of him El, which scares me. I’m not sure about him anymore,” Olivia said.

Elliot just smiled at her. “He’s human, Liv. He gets angry. God, you think I get mad, wait until you see him. He can be sad, happy, caring, and he can be cold. The only thing worse than him being angry is him being cold and uncaring. It’s mostly just a defense mechanism but sometimes he really does mean it,” Elliot said hoping that Olivia would understand.

“If he would’ve cared too much then he probably wouldn’t have been able to do his job. It would have been hard to think with too much emotion, I guess. You’d have to ask him,” he said. The door opened and George came in holding a few prescription bags.

“There you are,” Elliot said.

“See you later, Elliot,” Olivia said before leaving.

“Went to pick up your medication,” George said.

“How uncaring were you?”Elliot asked.

“A little more than normal,” George said not really fazed by the question.

Elliot gave him an amused look. “You scared Olivia,” he said.

“I really didn’t mean to. Probably got a little too caught up,” George said shrugging.

Elliot wondered how hard George took him being gone.

“Anyway, are you ready to get dressed? We’re leaving around noon,” George said and Elliot nodded.

George helped Elliot up and pushed the railing down. He helped Elliot swing his legs over the side.

Elliot took a deep breath and winced. Elliot gripped George’s shirt and looked at him.

“What?” George asked.

“Thank you, for everything,” Elliot said.

“Don’t have to thank me. I’m here for however long you want me to be,” George said. Elliot let him go and George went to his bag to get Elliot’s clothing. Elliot slipped his left arm out of the dressing gown. George came back with a pair of boxers, sweatpants, and a t-shirt. He placed them on the bed and Elliot slipped his other arm out of the hospital gown. George refrained from gasping as he saw the magnitude of bruising on Elliot body. Elliot watched George’s eyes went from shining with surprise to burning with anger. Elliot grabbed George’s shirt and he pulled George to him and kissed him.

“They’ll be gone soon,” Elliot said as he pulled away. “Don’t worry about it and calm down,” he said.

George nodded.

Elliot grabbed his boxers. “Hm…,” Elliot said. “Need to stand.”

George gripped Elliot’s good arm and helped him stand. Elliot took a shaky breath at the pain he felt coursing through his ankle. Elliot bent and slipped his right ankle into his boxers first and then his left before quickly pulling them up and sitting back on the bed.

“How bad,” George asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll walk too well for a while. It’s still tender.”

George nodded. “We’re going to have to get your pants on next,” he said.

They repeated the process and this time Elliot leaned more of his weight on George and George realized that Elliot was lighter than normal. He looked at Elliot closer when Elliot was sitting back on the bed.

“How much were you fed?” George asked.

“Enough so I wouldn’t starve. I always had water though,” Elliot said looking at the floor.

George sighed and he took a deep breath to calm himself. “Here’s your shirt,” he said and Elliot took it and pulled it on.

“Do you need a sling?” George asked and Elliot shook his head.

“Crutches would be good to have,” Elliot said.

“I’ll get the sling anyway,” George said as he walked out of the room. Elliot stared at the door waiting for George to come back. He felt uneasy without George in the room with him. It was something that he was going to have to get over. George walked back into the room and smiled at Elliot. Elliot gave a small smile of his own.

“It will be here when we’re leaving. Is there anything you want to do before we go home,” George asked as he sat down.

Elliot shook his head. “Just want to go home,” he said.

George nodded and they both waited for noon.

* * *

 

Elliot slumped against the seat of the car. George had helped him into the seat. He had to be wheeled out of the hospital. He hated that but it was necessary. George got into the car and he looked over at Elliot. He leaned over and kissed Elliot on the cheek.

Elliot looked at him with a small grateful smile. “I think I’ve changed my mind about not wanting to go somewhere before home,” he said.

“Where?” George asked.

“To the church if it’s not too much trouble,” Elliot said knowing that sometimes George felt a bit uncomfortable going there.

“It’s not,” George said and Elliot smiled as the car was started. 


	5. Four

George looked at Elliot. The man was sleeping and George didn’t feel quite tired yet. He left the doorway and walked back to his living room. The buzzer went off and George went to his door.

“It’s Cragen.”

He heard through the speaker. George pressed the buzzer to let him in. He opened the door and waited for Cragen to come up.

“Is there something wrong?” George asked once he saw Cragen step out of the elevator. Cragen shook his head. George moved out of the way to let his visitor in and then he shut the door. George sat at his desk and Cragen sat in front of it.

“I’ve been able to arrange for Elliot to be able to come back to work when he is ready. He will be on desk duty until a doctor clear’s him mentally,” Cragen said. George looked out the window and sighed.

“He isn’t going to be happy to see a shrink,” George said. It was true.

“Plus we don’t know how much nerve damage has been done to his right hand. Worst case scenario is that he won’t be able to handle a gun,” he said softly looking back at Cragen.

“I know,” Cragen said.

“I’ll tell Elliot what you said and we’ll start looking for someone for him to see,” George said.

Cragen nodded. “Tell Elliot I said hi,” he said standing and leaving.

George followed and closed the door behind Cragen.

George sighed and yawned. He heard noise coming from the bedroom and he made his way back to the room quickly.

Elliot was moving around and saying ‘get off of me’. George didn’t want to startle Elliot because he knew that he could lash out and hit him. Then he knew that Elliot would feel guilty about it even though he had no control. George knew that it could be worst but that didn’t stop him from being worried.

Soon Elliot stopped moving and George slowly got onto the bed. Elliot opened his eyes and looked at George. George could see the mixed emotions in his eyes. There was relief, anger, sadness, and something else that George couldn’t quite place.

“Are you okay El,” George asked running his finger through Elliot’s hair.

“Yeah, it was just a dream,” Elliot said pulling George against him.

“What was it about,” George asked hoping that Elliot would open up to him.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” Elliot said.

Elliot ran his hands under George’s undershirt. George knew it was more for Elliot’s comfort but it felt good.

“What’s this,” Elliot asked lifting George’s shirt to take a better look. There was a scar that ran over George’s stomach all the way to where the hair trailed down and disappeared beneath his sweatpants.

“This is new,” he said and he looked at George for the answer.

George sighed. He really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Are you going to answer me?” Elliot asked softly.

“John, Fin, and I went to ask a suspect some questions. He didn’t want to cooperate and I said something that made him angry. He pulled a knife and before any of us could react he attacked me,” George said.

Elliot looked at the scar and ran his finger along it.

“It wasn’t that bad. Just some stitches,” George said.

Elliot nodded and pulled George’s shirt down. “This is what happens when I’m not around,” Elliot said trying to lighten the mood but his face was grim.

“That’s why you’re not going anywhere anytime soon if I have anything to say about it,” George said hugging Elliot.

“Do you think you can go back to sleep?” He asked and Elliot nodded.

Elliot relaxed in George’s hold hoping he could go back to sleep.

* * *

George set the coffee on the table in front of Elliot and gave him a smile.

“Today we need to call for an appointment with a psychologist,” George said.

Elliot frowned. He wasn’t happy with the idea at all. He could deal with this on his own with George to take care of him but if it got him his job back sooner, then he saw no other option.  

“I know you hate the idea, El, but it’ll be good,” George said.

“I’d rather just stay here and work everything out with you about this. I don’t want to talk to anyone else about what happened,” Elliot said with a frown.

You hardly want to talk to about, George though with a sigh. George had no problem with waiting for Elliot to speak but maybe if he saw someone he would be more willing to open up to him.

George only wanted to see Elliot comfortable again with himself. Earlier George had waited for Elliot to come out of the shower so that he could take care of the cuts over Elliot’s body and when twenty minutes went past he went in to check on him only to find Elliot’s skin red from scrubbing it and the scorching hot water he was using. He made Elliot promise to try not to do it again.

Elliot looked at George to see he was deep in thought. Elliot felt a slight discomfort about George thinking. He knew it was nothing bad but that didn’t stop him from being uncomfortable.

“George,” Elliot said and George looked at him.

“I think we should make that call. The sooner the better,” he said softly. George nodded and he kissed Elliot before going to get the phone.

* * *

There was a knock on the door and George looked at Elliot in confusion. He went to the door and looked through the peep hole.

“It’s Olivia,” George said and looked at Elliot for a decision.

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Elliot said getting up from the couch and walked slowly to the door.

“I’ll be in the bedroom,” George said and Elliot grabbed him and kissed him.

“It is your home and I’ll turn her away before I make you uncomfortable,” Elliot said.

 George just smiled at him.

“She’s your partner and your friend. I’ll be in the bedroom,” George said pulling away from Elliot and disappearing into the bedroom.

Elliot sighed and he opened the door. “Hey Liv,” Elliot said.

“Hey El,” she said with a small smile. Elliot moved so that Olivia could come in. Elliot closed the door and walked slowly back to the sofa. He needed to sit because his ankle was throbbing.

“How’s everything?” Olivia asked.

“A bit better. I’m just happy to be home,” Elliot said.

“I’m glad to that you are back home.”

Elliot looked at Olivia who sat down next to him. She looked uncomfortable to be there. He couldn’t wrap his head around what was going on between George and Olivia.

“Where’s George?” Olivia asked.

“He’s resting in the bedroom. I would be too but I can’t really sleep well,” Elliot said.

“That’s good,” Olivia said her voice strained and Elliot sighed.

“You two are going to drive me up a fucking wall,” Elliot said with a glare.

“He didn’t give two shit’s about you being gone El or at least that’s what it looked like to all of us. You can make all the excuses in the world for it but he didn’t care,” Olivia said.

Elliot laughed softly.

“George I know that you’re listening,” he said and wasn’t surprised to see George step from around the corner with a slightly guilty look but Elliot knew it was just for show.

“I cared. That didn’t mean I was going to share with everyone how much I cared. Elliot and I had decided that when we were ready we would tell everyone that we were together. I guess I took it to the extreme but I don’t regret doing what I did. I did it for my own sanity,” George said calmly.

Olivia nodded and looked away.

“I’m sorry for thinking that you didn’t care,” Olivia said.

George knew that Olivia still would steer clear of him for a while but he wasn’t going to fret over that. She would get over it in her own time.

“I’m sorry for coming of as cold,” George said and Elliot looked between the two and gave a small smile.

“Good,” Elliot said and he pulled George down next to him. Elliot kissed him before turning to Olivia and asking her about everyone in the office. 


	6. Five

Elliot yawned and rolled over on the bed. He sat up confused when he didn’t come in contact with another body.

Elliot stretched and got off the bed. He limped slowly to the kitchen to see George was cooking breakfast.

“Morning,” George said without turning around.

“What are you making?” Elliot asked. He limped to the counter and leaned against it, taking the weight of his ankle.

“Some pancakes. I woke up this morning, early. I thought you might be feeling somewhat hungry,” George said and Elliot smiled.

“I am hungry,” Elliot said. He actually did feel hungry.

George was glad that Elliot was slowly getting his appetite back.

“Anything you need help with?” Elliot asked.

“I didn’t start on the coffee,” George said flipping a pancake.

Elliot turned to the coffee machine. He pulled the coffee grounds from the cabinet.

"How are you feeling?" George asked.

Elliot looked at him and smiled.

"Feel a lot better. It's really good to be home and with you."

George smiled and kissed Elliot.

"I love you," he said and Elliot smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

Elliot looked at George. They were sitting in the car. Both were just waiting.

Both were waiting for anything.

George was waiting for Elliot to say he was ready.

Elliot was waiting for himself to be ready.

George needed to break the silence.

“We can reschedule the appointment,” George said taking Elliot’s hand.

Elliot shook his head. “I have to do this. I don’t want to but I have to,” Elliot said and he kissed George.

“If you need to leave, then leave the session. I’ll take you home,” George said.

Elliot looked at George. He was searching for something that said George would want him to stay the whole appointment. All he found was openness and honest.

“I didn’t think that you would ever tell me that,” Elliot said.

“I don’t care if you walk in and stay for only five minutes. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready,” the doctor said.

He knew that Elliot didn’t want to do this. He wished that Elliot could talk to him but he knew that it was a conflict of interest. For him, he wanted to be the first to hear everything that happened to Elliot. He was selfish. Very selfish when it came to Elliot. Elliot was his and no one else’s.

Elliot looked at the dashboard and then at George. He looked at George and saw the possessiveness in his eyes. “We should go to check in now.”

Elliot and George got out of the car and they walked into the psychiatrist’s office.

Elliot sat down and George walked up to the receptionist.

“The name is Elliot Stabler. He has an appointment today,” George said with a small polite smile.

“Dr. David will be out in about five minutes to see him.”

George walked back to Elliot and he sat down.

George looked at him before he picked up a magazine to preoccupy himself.

“What if I don’t like this shrink?” Elliot asked.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea to have you bouncing from doctor to doctor. If you really don’t like her, then we can look for another one,” George said.

Elliot nodded. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to like this. He hadn’t even told George what happened. There was a big part of him that wanted to spill everything. Then there was that small part of him that never wanted to say anything about what happened. The only thing that kept him in his seat was that he wanted his job back.

George glanced at Elliot. “It’ll be fine, El,” he said. He wanted to comfort Elliot. Kiss him and tell him that everything will be fine. He saw the look of longing on Elliot’s face. George brushed his hand against Elliot’s. He saw relief spread across Elliot’s face.

“It’ll be okay?” Elliot asked.

George nodded. “Relax,” he said softly.

“Mr. Stabler.” Elliot looked up.

“Dr. David will see you now,” the receptionist said.

Elliot looked at George before he got up. He limped off to the office.

George watched and he turned back to the magazine.

* * *

Elliot sat down and looked around the office. He looked at the doctor who was sitting in front of him.

Long brunette hair and hazel eyes and they were very welcoming. It made Elliot nervous.

“I’m Dr. David, Elliot,” she said with a warm smile.

Elliot just nodded and shifted in his seat.

“Elliot would you like to tell me a little about yourself,” Dr. David asked.

Elliot was sure that she knew quite a bit about him. “I’m a detective with the NYPD, Special Victims Unit.”

“That must be hard to deal with sometimes.”

“It can be but I deal,” he said vaguely.

“You’re not much of a talker are you?”

“No I’m not. I never really have been for the most part. Only really talk to people I can trust,” Elliot said. George immediately came to the front of his mind. He smiled softly.

“Are you thinking about someone?” Dr. David asked seeing his smile.

“Yes,” Elliot said.

“Who are they to you?”

“My significant other,” the detective said. He wondered what the doctor might say about it.

“Has she been any help?”

Elliot wanted to laugh. It really couldn’t be helped though. Did he ooze heterosexuality? Probably, he thought. He was smirking on the inside.  

“She’s been a great help. More than I could have ever thought anyone could be. From the day I was found to today, she has been everything.” Elliot felt his heart flutter with the words.

Dr. David studied him before nodding.

“Have you talked to her about what’s happened to you?”

Elliot shook his head.

“I don’t want to burden her with this. I will tell her when I think I’m ready.”

“That’s good,” Dr. David said. “It’s good that you’re not pushing them away.”

“I couldn’t push them away even if I wanted to. She won’t let me,” Elliot said.  

“Is there anyone else there for you?”

“My ex-wife and five kids. I’m not going to tell them anything. They don’t need to know what really happened. My children don’t need to know that. All they need to know is that their father is fine.”

“How have you felt being back?” Dr. David asked.

Elliot shrugged. “I’ve felt okay. I feel uneasy, but okay.”  

“Have you had any uneasiness towards anyone specific?”

Elliot sighed. “Males. I get uneasy around other men. It happens with women too but for the most part its men. I’m not too fond of being touched either.”

“All men?”

“For the most part, yes. I’m normally fine if I know they are going to touch me. There is only one person I allow to touch me without problems.”

Dr. David looked at him curiously.

“A shrink. He was the first there. The first one I heard. He’s the one that helped me,” Elliot said.

* * *

George ran his fingers through his hair. He stood when he saw Elliot walking slowly with his psychiatrist.

“Elliot,” he said. He walked to him and gripped his arm. He could see the pain on his face.

“It’s not too bad,” Elliot said seeing his concern.

George took a side glance at Elliot’s doctor. He let go of Elliot and Elliot moved against the wall to lean some of his weight off his ankle.

“Dr. David, I’m Dr. George Huang. A psychiatrist.”

Elliot watched the way Dr. David looked George over. He didn’t like it.

“I didn’t expect a doctor to be with, Elliot,” Dr. David said she said with a smile.

“I’m just here for moral support,” George said.

Elliot frowned. He didn’t like her smile.

“I will see you next session, Elliot. Nice to meet you, Doctor,” she said. She turned and walked back to her office.

“Come on,” George said as he took Elliot by the arm.

“My medicine is wearing off,” Elliot said. He leaned against George and they walked out together.

“She seemed nice,” George said.

Elliot glared at him.

“I don’t like the way she looked at you,” he said.

George smiled. “I love you,” he said shaking his head.

“Other than your dislike for her looking at me, was the session good?”

“It was alright. She’s nice and she didn’t push. We just talked. She asked questions and I answered,” Elliot said.

George opened the car door and helped Elliot into his seat. He went to the driver’s side and he got into the car.

“That’s good. I’m glad it went fine,” George said.

“I’d rather it be you,” Elliot said softly.

“You can tell me anything you want. I don’t need to be your doctor. I wouldn’t be able to be objective about it. I’m too close,” George said as he started the car.

“I know.”

 


	7. Six

He shot up from the bed and gasped. Tears ran down his face and he closed his eyes.

George stirred next to him and sat up, looking at Elliot before nuzzling his neck slowly.

The taller man slowly relaxed, feeling George breathe against his neck.

"El," George began.

"I'm fine," Elliot said curtly.

"Please talk to me, Elliot. I want to help," George said, looking at Elliot.

Elliot tensed and George felt the movement. "I don't want to talk about it," Elliot said with finality.

"The talking will help. It'll help me be able to help you." George knew he was pushing. He knew that it was still too soon for Elliot, but that wasn't going to keep him from trying. This wasn't about him being a psychiatrist; it was about doing anything to make his partner feel at ease.

"I don't need you in my fucking head right now," Elliot snarled as he got off the bed. He wiped his face and he limped quickly from the bedroom.

George watched him leave and he sighed. He turned on the bedside lamp and leaned back against the headboard. He needed to find a way to get Elliot to open up. Elliot kept having these nightmares- almost every time Elliot closed his eyes he would either wake up in a cold sweat or crying.

George got out of the bed and walked towards where he had heard Elliot's footsteps when he had left. He went into the guest bedroom and saw that Elliot was just sitting on the bed and looking down.

George climbed onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Elliot's middle. He felt so fragile with the loss of weight and muscle mass.

"I don't need the doc," Elliot said softly.

George pressed a kiss to the back of Elliot's neck. "I wasn't trying to be that way, Elliot. I want you to be able sleep a little better. I don't want to see you like that; I want you to be able to rest as peaceful as possible."

Elliot sighed. "I can't tell you right now. I can't."

"It's okay. Let's try to get some sleep," George said as he let go of Elliot and lay down. Elliot lay down and faced George. He laid his head on George's chest, hearing George's heartbeat.

"I'm sorry," Elliot said.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," George said, running his fingers through Elliot's hair.

* * *

Elliot heard George's raised voice in the living room. He got off the bed and limped towards the living room.

"He's not ready, Don. I don't care!" George yelled into the phone.

"George?" Elliot said and George turned to look at him. Anger was burning in George's eyes and the look made Elliot freeze.

"I'll call you back," George said when he saw the distant look in Elliot's eyes and the rigid stance. George hung up the phone and walked slowly towards Elliot. "El?"

George's anger subsided and he cupped Elliot's cheek. Elliot blinked and looked at George.

"You okay?" George asked.

"Yeah," Elliot said, moving away from George's hand. "I'm fine," he said as his eyes darted around the room.

George saw the nervousness in Elliot's eyes and the fear. He hated seeing fear in Elliot's eyes, especially when he knew he was the cause of it.

"What was that all about?" Elliot asked, trying to divert George's attention from him.

George looked away from him, not wanting to tell him.

Elliot waited for him to speak. George knew he wasn't going to be able to lie to him- he was going to find out one way or another and George wasn't going to let him hear it from someone else.

"Don said that you might have to testify," George said softly.

Elliot's eyes widened. "I thought that there was enough evidence," he whispered to himself. He paled visibly.

George reached for Elliot, but he flinched away and left for the bathroom. George followed after a second and found Elliot bent over the toilet throwing up. Elliot was breathing hard, and then he started to dry heave.

George rubbed Elliot's back carefully. Elliot started to relax and George went to the sink, filling a cup with water and handing it to Elliot.

"Rinse your mouth out," George said. Elliot complied and spit the water into the sink.

George took the cup and placed it back on the counter. He then led Elliot out of the bathroom and to the bedroom. George helped Elliot lay down and then lay down with him. Elliot placed his face into the crook of George's neck and George felt tears against his neck.

"We don't know yet," George said softly. "They might not need you to come into court. But we're going to have to prepare for if you do."

Elliot shook his head.

"What are you thinking?" George asked. Elliot just pulled George tighter and didn't say anything. George sighed and let Elliot cling onto him. "Please, Elliot. Please talk to me," George said softly.

Elliot shook his head again. George waited for him to say something.

"I can't look at him. I don't want to see him. Don't make me have to face him," Elliot mumbled. He sounded so broken.

George's heart clenched and he took a deep breath. He was becoming so angry thinking about what that asshole had done to Elliot. "It's going to be okay, El. Just sleep," George said finally. It took a while but soon Elliot was relaxed and falling asleep.

When George was sure Elliot was asleep, he slipped out of his embrace and off the bed. He got dressed and went to the living room to get his phone. He called quickly dialed a number and waited for an answer. "Olivia. Are you busy?"

* * *

George walked into the 1-6 and straight to Cragen's office. He could feel eyes on him but he ignored them. He knocked on the office door. When he heard a muffled, "Come in," he opened the door, and Cragen looked up. George closed the door and stood there and looked at Cragen.

"I didn't make that decision. We have enough to keep that monster in prison for the rest of his life. He's saying that he was coerced into kidnapping Elliot and that his friends were the ones who hurt and raped him. He might be able to get a lower sentence just by naming some people. Only Elliot can tell us whether he was alone with him the whole month or if his friends were really involved. The DA wants anything and everything that will put him in jail and anyone involved with him," Cragen said softly.

"He became sick when I told him," George explained. "He has nightmares all the time."

"I understand, but we more than likely will have to do this. I don't want to, George. We haven't even gotten a statement from him. I've been delaying it and we'll need one by the end of the week," Cragen said.

George just shook his head. "I'm not going to push him. I'll see what I can do but I'm not jeopardizing his health or his trust. He comes first right now," he said before leaving the office. He needed to get back to Elliot before he woke up. He knew Elliot was safe because Olivia was there, but he still needed to be there.

* * *

Elliot knew something was wrong. George wasn't next to him. He was also in pain and he didn't want to walk into the living room to see if he was there. He felt nauseous when his mind went back to what George had told him earlier. He felt pathetic and weak. He'd thrown up and cried himself to sleep just because he was scared. He was so scared to think that he had to face him again.

"George?" he called. He heard footsteps and sighed. He looked up at the door and saw Olivia, and his eyebrows furrowed. "Hi," he said.

"Hey. George sent me because he needed to talk to the Captain. Did you need something?" Olivia asked.

Elliot took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He tried not to think about what they might be talking about. "I need my medicine and some water. It's in the kitchen on the table," he said as he sat up on the bed.

Olivia came back with water and gave Elliot the medicine and pills.

Elliot took the pills, drank all the water, and then leaned back against the headboard. He waited a few minutes before moving to the edge of the bed and he looked at Olivia.

“How long has he been gone?” He asked.

“Just an hour. He should be back soon,” Olivia said looking at Elliot in concern. He looked pale and tired.

Elliot stood and limped to the bedroom door. Olivia moved out of his way and he went into the living room. Olivia followed, watching him as he sat on the couch and lay back.

“Sit, you’re making me nervously,” Elliot said with a small smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though.

Olivia could see how nervous Elliot was so she sat down next to Elliot.

“Are you hungry?” Olivia asked.

“I don’t think I’d be able to keep anything down right now but thank you,” Elliot said before looking at the apartment door.

He looked at Olivia and then back at the door. “I’m sorry I’m such bad company,” Elliot said and Olivia smiled at Elliot.

“I don’t care about that, El,” she said and Elliot relaxed a little.

They sat in silence and Elliot would look at the door occasionally. It opened and George came in. He gave Elliot a small smile before walking over to the couch.

“How are you,” he asked.

“Better,” Elliot said.

Olivia stood and looked at Elliot. “I have to go to work,” she said.

“See you later, Liv,” Elliot said. He wanted to stand but thought better since his ankle was still throbbing.

“I’ll come see you, soon,” she said.

“Thank you,” George said walking Olivia to the door.

“It’s not a problem. I’ll be here whenever you need me,” she said and she walked out of the door. George closed it and locked it.

“She’s still not happy with,” Elliot said.

“Doesn’t matter right now,” George said and Elliot nodded understanding.

George sat next to Elliot and Elliot leaned against him. “What did Cragen say?” Elliot asked.

He needed to know no matter how upset it made him.

“You have to make a statement by the end of the week,” George said. He didn’t want to tell Elliot the other part. He needed him to concentrate on making a statement.

Elliot closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. “I’m not sure if I can,” he said softly.

“I’ll be there with you. Just worry about tomorrow’s session with Dr. David and after that we’ll worry about the statement,” George said grabbing Elliot’s hand and squeezing it.

“Okay,” Elliot said trying to ignore the churning in his stomach.

 

 

 


End file.
